A Change for the Better

We have an announcement to make. Liz and I are back in Utah. I know shocking to most of you. We made this move on account of me and some mental health problems i had in Coeur D'Alene. It had nothing to do with the town or my work or anything other than my life long struggle with Depression and some other mental quirks that i have.  I had a sort of mental break one morning before work and scared Liz pretty good with what i was saying and acting like. I broke down crying and was emotionally uncontrollable. We then went to the emergency room and I was admitted to the Behavioral/Mental Health Unit. I hated to have Liz see me so vulnerable and broken down, i felt like such a weak man knowing that i could not handle life and all that has been going on like other men would  have. I was there for a total of 6 days and i got some great time with a Therapist and some group therapy classes as well.  I was diagnosed with a form of ADHD that makes me jump to one thing to another and i realized that it was controlling me and that is why in my life i have done so many things and have had so many jobs. My therapist said I self sabotage. I think that i am doing so bad when actually i am doing well at school or at work and feel that i will fail or i will get fired that i quit or try to escape in a way to make my thoughts justified, when actually i am always told later how much i am appreciated and was doing a great job and they were blown away that i quit or left. My life has been ruled by this, and i feel so bad about what i have done not only to myself but to others as well. It has really affected my relationships with friends, family, work associates and others in my life. I feel horrible that i have let myself be controlled by this.

I want to apologize to anyone i have hurt in something i have said, done, or not done. I have never meant to hurt you and if i have, please tell me, call me on the crap that i have pulled, i want to hear it so it does not happen again. 

I also want to take this time to tell Liz how much i love and appreciate her. She has been such a strength to me over these past few weeks. While i was in the hospital she would call and give updates to our families and come visit me everyday. She was a much needed support and a life crutch for me. She got everything worked out to where we could move back to Utah and to be able to stay at my parents house for a while. She is to me the most amazing person. I love you Liz. You are such an amazing mom to McKinley and I. You are such a strength to us not only how you treat us physically, but also spiritually and emotionally. You have helped me become a better man over the years and i hope to continue to be a better man for you. You are my best friend and as you say, we are Cookie Cutters :) Having you in my life is such a blessing. I love spending time with you and McKinley and enjoying our family. Thank you for being such a great support to me. I can never say thank you enough.

Well that is what has been going on with Us. We hope you are all doing well.